"BLUE" JIMMY: ENGLISH LANGUAGE GURU
BLIND DOG OZZY: NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA
"BLUE" JIMMY: If you're new to American English, here's something else to throw a monkey wrench into the machinery: American English speakers often have different words for the exact same thing depending on where they live.
BLIND DOG OZZY: Now you're really f**ked!
"BLUE" JIMMY: For example if you live in the Western United states, that fizzy, flavored drink you eat with your burger is called a soda. If you live in the Great Lakes area and most of the Midwest and Northern states, you call it pop. Down South, they don't care what flavor or color the drink is, they just call it a Coke! Then when you get back to the East Coast, they call it a soda again. Also, in New York and surrounding areas, a milkshake is not called a milkshake, it's called an egg cream, although it contains neither egg or cream.
BLIND DOG OZZY: WTF? And if you're in a burger stand, diner or restaurant down South, they'll ask you, "... honey, you want some ass with your Coke?" (Do you want some ice with your Coke?).
"BLUE" JIMMY: That place on the corner where you buy stuff? ... In my neighborhood in L.A. and everywhere else in Southern California, everyone calls it a liquor store whether they actually sell liquor or not. On the East Coast they call it a deli, whether they actually sell deli sandwiches or not.
BLIND DOG OZZY: It must sound funny to some people when you're 10 years-old, "... hey, ma! I'm going to the liquor store!"
"BLUE" JIMMY: That place in school or in public where you go to drink water? Most of The United States call it a drinking fountain or water fountain but there are certain places in the Northeast and far East Coast where they call it a bubbler.
BLIND DOG OZZY: ???
"BLUE" JIMMY: Where do you throw your trash? It seems the lines are drawn similar to the Civil War. Most people in the North say garbage can, while those in the South say trash can. Although seriously in L.A., I remember never saying anything but trash can.
BLIND DOG OZZY: Garbage was thrown out food while trash
was paper and s**t!
"BLUE" JIMMY: Those bugs that fly around and have a phosphorescent glow at night? Most people in the U.S. call it a firefly, while people in most of the Midwest and Southern states call it a lightning bug. For me it don't matter 'cause in L.A. , I ain't never seen a either one in my life.
BLIND DOG OZZY: Only in movies!
"BLUE" JIMMY: That traffic-filled road that I get stuck on every time I want to go see a band play in Hollywood? I thought everyone called it a freeway but was surprised to learn that most people in the U.S. actually call it a highway with some obscure areas actually calling it an expressway or thruway.
BLIND DOG OZZY: What kind of s**t is that?
"BLUE" JIMMY: What do you call a sandwich on a long roll with meat and cheese? Most of the U.S. calls it a submarine sandwich because of its similarity to a submarine in shape. But in the state of Maine, which claims to be the birthplace of the sandwich, they simply call it an Italian sandwich. Others on the East Coast never call it anything but a hoagie or in some far east cities, a hero.
BLIND DOG OZZY: On a trip to New York, a waitress asked me, "whatd'ya want on your hoagie?" I thought she was talking dirty to me!
"BLUE" JIIMY: There are certain things that go by a certain name in almost every home in America but there are certain holdouts in parts of the country that have to get all "old country" on us and use a different word. A good example would be green onions, which is the word 99.9% of all Americans use. But if you're a cook in Delaware or New Hampshire or one of those Pilgrim states, you call it a scallion.
BLIND DOG OZZY: P*ssies!
"BLUE" JIMMY: Other areas of the U.S. have regional words which have no equivalent in other areas of the country. What do you call the night before Halloween? Some places in the far Eastern U.S. actually have a name for this night: Mischief Night; Devil's Night and in some obscure New England towns; Gate Night ...
BLIND DOG OZZY: ... Where drunken hooligans remove your garden gates and put them up in a tree!
"BLUE" JIMMY: Yeah, I ain't never heard of that. I guess some New England states with a high percentage of Irish immigrants celebrate the eve before Halloween like most people celebrate Christmas Eve! Some of the most interesting regional phrases I've heard deal with places that supposedly exist down South but nowhere else in The Union. What do you call a place where you can get beer and liquor at a drive-thru without getting off your car?
BLIND DOG OZZY: In California, they call it, "get the hell outta my store!"
"BLUE" JIMMY: But down South, especially in Texas, they call it a beer barn or party barn!
BLIND DOG OZZY: FT! I'm moving down to The Lone Star State!
"BLUE" JIMMY: However some words when used, just make you look silly. Certain individuals, no matter where they live, insist on using the word catsup instead of ketchup.
BLIND DOG OZZY: Yeah, if you say catsup, you're just a d**k!
"BLUE" JIMMY: TENNIES/ SNEAKERS?
In the Western United States, most people like me, called them tennies when they were growing up. This is supposedly because these rubber-soled, canvas or leather shoes were first used to play tennis ...
BLIND DOG OZZY: ... Which for some anal retentive upper-class people, is actually considered a sport!
"BLUE" JIMMY: In some remote areas, they are referred to as gym shoes.
BLIND DOG OZZY: Don't make me stick my gym shoe up yo' a**!
"BLUE" JIMMY: But in most of the Colonial States, they call them sneakers. There is a good reason for this. At the Turn Of The Century in London England, the notorious serial killer Jack The Ripper was up to no good on foggy nights, making a mess of the local Ladies Of The Evening. There was a huge outcry from the public to find this deviant so Scotland Yard sent out patrols of police officers into the night in quiet, rubber-soled shoes in an attempt to "sneak up" on this killer.
These shoes were henceforth, known as sneakers and the name was brought to the Eastern United States by British immigrants.
BLIND DOG OZZY: Stick with us and you'll learn all kinds of s**t!!!
"BLUE" JIMMY: Sake's Alive!
BLIND DOG OZZY: Wow! Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com
BLIND DOG OZZY: Now you're really f**ked!
"BLUE" JIMMY: For example if you live in the Western United states, that fizzy, flavored drink you eat with your burger is called a soda. If you live in the Great Lakes area and most of the Midwest and Northern states, you call it pop. Down South, they don't care what flavor or color the drink is, they just call it a Coke! Then when you get back to the East Coast, they call it a soda again. Also, in New York and surrounding areas, a milkshake is not called a milkshake, it's called an egg cream, although it contains neither egg or cream.
BLIND DOG OZZY: WTF? And if you're in a burger stand, diner or restaurant down South, they'll ask you, "... honey, you want some ass with your Coke?" (Do you want some ice with your Coke?).
"BLUE" JIMMY: That place on the corner where you buy stuff? ... In my neighborhood in L.A. and everywhere else in Southern California, everyone calls it a liquor store whether they actually sell liquor or not. On the East Coast they call it a deli, whether they actually sell deli sandwiches or not.
BLIND DOG OZZY: It must sound funny to some people when you're 10 years-old, "... hey, ma! I'm going to the liquor store!"
"BLUE" JIMMY: That place in school or in public where you go to drink water? Most of The United States call it a drinking fountain or water fountain but there are certain places in the Northeast and far East Coast where they call it a bubbler.
BLIND DOG OZZY: ???
"BLUE" JIMMY: Where do you throw your trash? It seems the lines are drawn similar to the Civil War. Most people in the North say garbage can, while those in the South say trash can. Although seriously in L.A., I remember never saying anything but trash can.
BLIND DOG OZZY: Garbage was thrown out food while trash
was paper and s**t!
"BLUE" JIMMY: Those bugs that fly around and have a phosphorescent glow at night? Most people in the U.S. call it a firefly, while people in most of the Midwest and Southern states call it a lightning bug. For me it don't matter 'cause in L.A. , I ain't never seen a either one in my life.
BLIND DOG OZZY: Only in movies!
"BLUE" JIMMY: That traffic-filled road that I get stuck on every time I want to go see a band play in Hollywood? I thought everyone called it a freeway but was surprised to learn that most people in the U.S. actually call it a highway with some obscure areas actually calling it an expressway or thruway.
BLIND DOG OZZY: What kind of s**t is that?
"BLUE" JIMMY: What do you call a sandwich on a long roll with meat and cheese? Most of the U.S. calls it a submarine sandwich because of its similarity to a submarine in shape. But in the state of Maine, which claims to be the birthplace of the sandwich, they simply call it an Italian sandwich. Others on the East Coast never call it anything but a hoagie or in some far east cities, a hero.
BLIND DOG OZZY: On a trip to New York, a waitress asked me, "whatd'ya want on your hoagie?" I thought she was talking dirty to me!
"BLUE" JIIMY: There are certain things that go by a certain name in almost every home in America but there are certain holdouts in parts of the country that have to get all "old country" on us and use a different word. A good example would be green onions, which is the word 99.9% of all Americans use. But if you're a cook in Delaware or New Hampshire or one of those Pilgrim states, you call it a scallion.
BLIND DOG OZZY: P*ssies!
"BLUE" JIMMY: Other areas of the U.S. have regional words which have no equivalent in other areas of the country. What do you call the night before Halloween? Some places in the far Eastern U.S. actually have a name for this night: Mischief Night; Devil's Night and in some obscure New England towns; Gate Night ...
BLIND DOG OZZY: ... Where drunken hooligans remove your garden gates and put them up in a tree!
"BLUE" JIMMY: Yeah, I ain't never heard of that. I guess some New England states with a high percentage of Irish immigrants celebrate the eve before Halloween like most people celebrate Christmas Eve! Some of the most interesting regional phrases I've heard deal with places that supposedly exist down South but nowhere else in The Union. What do you call a place where you can get beer and liquor at a drive-thru without getting off your car?
BLIND DOG OZZY: In California, they call it, "get the hell outta my store!"
"BLUE" JIMMY: But down South, especially in Texas, they call it a beer barn or party barn!
BLIND DOG OZZY: FT! I'm moving down to The Lone Star State!
"BLUE" JIMMY: However some words when used, just make you look silly. Certain individuals, no matter where they live, insist on using the word catsup instead of ketchup.
BLIND DOG OZZY: Yeah, if you say catsup, you're just a d**k!
"BLUE" JIMMY: TENNIES/ SNEAKERS?
BLIND DOG OZZY: ... Which for some anal retentive upper-class people, is actually considered a sport!
"BLUE" JIMMY: In some remote areas, they are referred to as gym shoes.
BLIND DOG OZZY: Don't make me stick my gym shoe up yo' a**!
"BLUE" JIMMY: But in most of the Colonial States, they call them sneakers. There is a good reason for this. At the Turn Of The Century in London England, the notorious serial killer Jack The Ripper was up to no good on foggy nights, making a mess of the local Ladies Of The Evening. There was a huge outcry from the public to find this deviant so Scotland Yard sent out patrols of police officers into the night in quiet, rubber-soled shoes in an attempt to "sneak up" on this killer.
BLIND DOG OZZY: Stick with us and you'll learn all kinds of s**t!!!
"BLUE" JIMMY: Sake's Alive!
BLIND DOG OZZY: Wow! Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com
